Jill Geisler: Success without hubris — Why the best leaders are confident, not arrogant

Picture this: You’re in a high-stakes situation with lots of tension. It could be in an emergency department, a board room or a boiler room. People must make quick, important decisions. Then one person walks in, and everyone’s anxiety seems to diminish. It’s the leader you respect. All eyes turn to that person, who calmly asks a few key questions, listens, sizes up the situation and confidently says, “We’ve got this. Here’s what each of us is going to do.”

The leader’s confidence is contagious. It helps people focus, lessens fear and inspires team members to press forward, doing their best.

I hope you’ve experienced a moment like that, either as a team member or a team leader. I suspect you remember it. Confident leaders are a blessing in any organization, and not just in crisis. They can raise a team’s performance and morale.

We talk about confident leadership in my workshops. People share lessons they’ve learned from the best and worst of their managers. I’ve heard many bad examples — so I know that not all people with power handle it well.

They may be successful in many ways, but instead of being confident, they are arrogant. And that’s dangerous.

Hubris — the enemy of good leadership

As one team of researchers described it: “Hubris is a potentially dangerous cocktail of over-confidence, over-ambition, arrogance and pride.”^a

It leads to bad decision-making and distances the leader from the good ideas available from others. It distances them from good relationships as well, since it is built on highlighting one’s own status over others.

If you want to be known for confidence, not arrogance, remember that it all depends on how others experience working with and for you. You may feel that you’re a confident leader, but the title can only be bestowed on you by others.

Here’s a look at the behaviors that differentiate the confident from the hubristic.

Qualities of confident leaders

Confident leaders are subject matter experts. That’s to be expected. But what sets them apart is how they apply that expertise. They demonstrate competence through preparation and command of facts. They do their homework.

Confident leaders also:

• Are continuous learners. They’re curious and enjoy exchanging ideas with others. They like surrounding themselves with smart people who can challenge and teach them.
• Are comfortable in their own skin. They’re not afraid to say, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” If they make an error, they have no problem apologizing, sincerely and specifically. They don’t mind being teased by team members or even being the butt of a good-natured joke.
• Listen to feedback. They are open to positive and negative messages from colleagues. People don’t fear bringing them bad news. They are approachable in good and bad times.
• Are clear in their communication. They don’t begin their statements with self-criticism (“This may be a dumb idea, but….”) They don’t pepper their messages with hedging words like “maybe” or “some say.” People who meet with them leave with clear direction and focus.
• Serve as the calm in the storm. Confident leaders know that when things are their worst, they need to be at their best. They understand that if they are rattled, unfocused, panicky or overly emotional, others will take cues from them. Even when they’re nervous (yes, confident people still get nervous), they don’t let it show.
• Build up others. One of the hallmarks of confidence is the willingness to share the spotlight. Confident leaders consistently look for opportunities to showcase the talents of others, spread credit generously and praise good work. When positive things happen on their watch, they don’t feel the need to make themselves the heroes of the success stories. They thrive on seeing others succeed.

Qualities of hubristic leaders

Not surprisingly, hubristic leaders are likewise subject matter experts. The problem is that they make sure you know it. They start with the assumption that their knowledge is the most valuable commodity in the conversation. They dominate discussions, one-up others and often speak condescendingly.

Hubristic leaders also tend to:

• Dismiss or disregard information. Hubristic leaders place the highest value on their own ideas and experiences. They may spurn offers of help or suggestions of alternative solutions, research or guidance. They are incurious.
• Be unwilling to apologize. Not only do they not take responsibility when they make mistakes, they often double down on their position or attack the credibility of those who correct them. They see apologies as a form of weakness, believing that saying “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong” will make them appear less credible or give others the upper hand.
• Wall themselves off from feedback. People who work for hubristic bosses walk on eggshells when it comes to passing along complaints, criticisms or contrary opinions. They know they risk a wrathful response. So problems go unaddressed. Bad strategies may persist. Good people may leave.
• Say “I” more than “we.” If you check their memos, speeches, bios, interviews or just sit in on a meeting with them, you see a pattern of pronouns that prioritizes themselves over others. They don’t share the spotlight; they hog it. If their team members do well, the story they tell is about how they, the leader, made it happen.
• Be deeply status conscious. Hubristic leaders are especially interested in having their importance demonstrated publicly. They want titles, honorifics, perks, positions in a program, seating at an event, even the décor of their workspace, to convey their VIP-ness.

It’s not about status

One of the key differences between confident and hubristic leaders is the way they view status.

Hubristic leaders who are status-insecure tend to see it as a zero-sum game. In other words, your gain is my loss.

But researchers from the Columbia Business School put that notion to rest.^b Their extensive research spanning two decades led them to the following conclusion:

“Failing to share credit or admit receiving help doesn’t make you look like a lone genius; it makes you look selfish and insecure. Attempts to claim credit for yourself, and to treat collaborations like competitions, mostly backfire, further reducing your status.”

Time for introspection

So how do you make sure you’re seen as confident, not arrogant? Look back at those two lists.

If you see yourself in any of the “hubris” actions, it’s time to do some damage control. Ask for feedback. Listen. Apologize. Let people know you’re working to strengthen your relationships with them. Shift the focus of conversations and meetings from your expertise to theirs. Spread credit generously and stop worrying about status. You’re the boss. You already have clout. Raise up those around you.

Let’s return now to where we started. We’re back in that room where things are tense and people are concerned or conflicted. Then someone walks in, and in that very moment everyone just knows that things are going to get better.

What inspires that confidence?

It’s you. 

Footnotes

a. Sadler-Smith, E., Akstinaite, V., Robinson, G., and Wray, T., “Hubristic leadership: A review,” Sage Journals: Leadership, Dec. 12, 2016.
b. Keeley, M, “Insecure about your status? Try boosting someone else’s,”  Research in Brief, Columbia Business School, Jan. 21, 2025.